I am finally getting into a routine being at home. It has taken me much longer to adjust to being home during the day. I think I enjoy it, but it is still feels awkward to not be working. I have come to the realization in most aspects of my life, where things do not seem to be working, that I am the problem. I am not giving enough (any) of myself. I do this out of fear. I have not figured out what it is I am afraid of. I’ve had enough epiphanies for the week.
When it rains it pours. Last week I received a phone call inviting me to a job interview on Thursday. Then my old boss calls to tell me he is getting a little funding and could hire me part time. Today I get an email for another interview on Friday.
It is nice for people to want to interview me and for my experience to be desired. I just don’t know what will be best for our family. Ideally, I would like to work part time. I just don’t know how that will financially work out. The idea of working for my boss again is appealing. It would be a different job, working as an independent contractor for a small company he owns, but I would be perfectly positioned to slide back into my old job once grant funding comes through again.
Is the comfort of the familiar skewing my decisions? The jobs I am interviewing for are very different from what I have done before. I can see where I could learn new skills that would make me a more marketable employee in either position. I have never been that focused on my career. My priority is my family. I may not be offered either job, though I know my boss gave me a glowing recommendation.
I am just afraid to make a wrong decision. I am afraid I will get stuck in a job that I hate or that makes me miserable. Or I will end up putting our family into a difficult financial position.