When it rains it pours.

I am finally getting into a routine being at home.  It has taken me much longer to adjust to being home during the day.  I think I enjoy it, but it is still feels awkward to not be working.    I have come to the realization in most aspects of my life, where things do not seem to be working,  that I am the problem.   I am not giving enough (any) of myself.   I do this out of fear.  I have not figured out what it is I am afraid of.  I’ve had enough epiphanies for the week.

When it rains it pours.  Last week I received a phone call inviting me to a job interview on Thursday.  Then my old boss calls to tell me he is getting a little funding and could hire me part time. Today I get an email for another interview on Friday.

It is nice for people to want to interview me and for my experience to be desired.  I just don’t know what will be best for our family.  Ideally, I would like to work part time.  I just don’t know how that will financially work out.   The idea of working for my boss again is appealing.   It would be a different job, working as an independent contractor for a small company he owns, but I would be perfectly positioned to slide back into my old job once grant funding comes through again.

Is the comfort of the familiar skewing my decisions?  The jobs I am interviewing for are very different from what I have done before.  I can see where I could learn new skills that would make me a more marketable employee in either position.  I have never been that focused on my career.  My priority is my family.   I may not be offered either job, though I know my boss gave me a glowing recommendation.

I am just afraid to make a wrong decision. I am afraid I will get stuck in a job that I hate or that makes me miserable.   Or I will end up putting our family into a difficult financial position.


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